The Dragon and the Douchebag

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Prompt: You are a legendary hero, venerated for killing a dragon that threatened to destroy the realm 15 years ago. The thing is, the hero was a big douche, and you, the dragon, killed him 15 years ago and took his place.
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You poke unhappily at the belly you accumulated from all the free beers you've been treated to over the years.

"Maybe I should've just toasted this thing and eaten it when I had the chance," you mutter.

"What?" says the bartender.

"Oh, uh...I mean, a toast to your health!"

"Aw, thanks! Here's another mug, on the house!"

Sigh.

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